Comics involving darkness are so much easier to draw.

A fly off the wall

I love Melbourne, but look, I'm not going to lie to you - I don't like flies. No really. I don't. The ones in South Africa and New Zealand were ok - they'd be like, "hey wassup, Malcolm" and I'd go, "bugger off, fly", and they'd say, "righto" and that'd be the end of that. But the ones here just keep coming back. Maybe they're just friendlier. Have you ever tried carrying an ice cream in each hand in the middle of a Melbourne summer with your mouth open? It's hilarious.

Love,

Malcolm

Bummer of a Hummer

Call me old fashioned, but I don't like Hummers. I don't like Hummers A LOT! I only started seeing them when I moved to Melbourne - and may I propose a question: What the hank do you need a Hummer in Melbourne for?! I was visiting my parents out in the 'burbs last Tuesday - and my mom, cousin and I took a trip down to one of the malls. In the car park, I saw a Hummer taking up two parking spots. Always a great popularity move to take up twice the allocated number of parks per vehicle to dump your ridiculously ridicularse wheels.

In this game called life, I try to adhere to the rule "know me before you judge me". I do not know any people who drive Hummers, but we can be 99% confident that people who drive Hummers are silly...amongst other things. Did you ever see Ghandi drive a Hummer? No you did not. Please prove me wrong world, show me a benevolent humanitarian who drives a Hummer, and I will show you... show you... I don't know. My stamp collection I suppose. Yeah.

Melbourne Cup

So I heard that last Tuesday's Melbourne Cup had pepper spray. I wonder who organised pepper spray? But more importantly, did they put it on Mastercard?