A fly off the wall

I love Melbourne, but look, I'm not going to lie to you - I don't like flies. No really. I don't. The ones in South Africa and New Zealand were ok - they'd be like, "hey wassup, Malcolm" and I'd go, "bugger off, fly", and they'd say, "righto" and that'd be the end of that. But the ones here just keep coming back. Maybe they're just friendlier. Have you ever tried carrying an ice cream in each hand in the middle of a Melbourne summer with your mouth open? It's hilarious.

Love,

Malcolm